Diary of an Australian emigrant. Funny to tears.

Diary of an Australian emigrant. Funny to tears.
It’s really a fake accordion, but a really funny story. We do not want to comment, just read it.
Here we are in Australia. I’m fascinated by this country! It’s amazing here! The mountains are so beautiful, and the ocean is picturesque. They have winter now, ha-ha! It has a warm and mild climate. I look forward to the coming of spring.
AUSTRALIA! This is the most wonderful place on earth! On the ever green trees there are thick bats. Yesterday I made an exciting trip outside the city, to the countryside. You will not believe! I’ve seen wild kangaroos! In the wild, they are so beautiful and graceful. Truly these are the most charming animals on the planet. Well, just cute! No, it’s really paradise!
Today I met local aborigines. Amazing people! In their eyes, the wisdom of the ancient people shines, and outwardly they are small and harmless. How do they survive here? Gave them a dollar.
Soon the kangaroo hunting season opens. It’s horrible! I can not imagine that someone can raise his hand to this sweet, harmless creature. From day to day we expect the coming of spring. I like it here!
Spring came! It rained this night. HOORAY. Waking up in the morning, we found a charming picture outside the window. Everything is covered with snow-white, fluffy flowers. Kind of like in a greenhouse! I am impressed! My wife and I ran out of the house happily and grabbed a big bouquet of these amazing flowers. The neighbor child made faces to our Toyota, driving with his dad in the truck – baby, what to take from him!
This night it was raining again. On the sugary smell of flowers began to fly big and evil wasps. I learned the meaning of the word “allergy”. In some places the roof leaks, and we put buckets and basins.
From the 12th of November the rain did not stop. Today, buckets and basins have been removed – it’s useless. Just punched holes in the floor. The clothes do not dry anymore. The computer is covered. I type on the typewriter. By blurry dirt roads you can not go anymore – it’s blurry! Well, that near the highway. In the news the announcer said that the rainy season will begin soon. Probably wrong understood him: “Season. “- Australians have such an interesting pronunciation …
THE ASSEMBLY. The highway is closed, because it is completely flooded. Local residents ride on a line of trucks, spraying buckets of dirt around. The dog dragged a dead animal. I showed my neighbors – they said that the platypus. Sorry for the bird ..
It would be better not to show – the inspector came and fined 500 bucks for the destruction of a rare representative of the fauna. I wanted to shoot a dog. I wanted to shoot the inspector. I could not – the powder was damp. I put the dog in the booth on the chain.
It seems the rain stops. And the products too. Thank God neighbors shared ostrich eggs. Eggs from three eggs are enough for the whole family and for the whole day.
This guy from the Bureau of Forecasts was wrong! At night, the dog was washed away with the booth. It seems that I have webbed fingers between my fingers.
Today finally got out of the house. I went to the store to buy food. And so, on the way back, this cattle – kangaroo – flies out onto the road and … turning into a ditch, I get into the nest of wild creatures. The critters. Now rubber studded, just holey. While walking behind spare wheels, three aborigines were drained of all gasoline. They sniff it! Therefore, all Papuans have such dull eyes. He gave them 10 bucks for bringing me the skin of this kangaroo. Aborigines dragged a dead platypus. By the way, despite the small growth, they run faster than flying my leaky tires.
It was summer, heat. Shaved his beard. I bought a jeep. With a two-meter kenguryatnikom. Now let’s see who wins!
We went with his wife to the coast. The ocean – it’s cool! What waves! What surfing! In the evening, it was reported that a shark was eating a surfer. Well its on the figs, we’ll go to the river. There are no sharks …
… but there are crocodiles. It’s good that the first dog entered the water. Anyway, she was going to have a tail cut off. Were on an ostrich farm. He fed peanuts from the bird’s hand. It would be better if I did not do this.
The doctor said that the plaster from his hands would be removed in two weeks. Christmas is coming soon! Only a madman will dress up as Santa Claus at +30. Everything, tomorrow we fly back to Canada. We are so bored in the snow, native bayan and bikes in the evenings in front of the fireplace …

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