Moving to Germany in marriage h1>
Of course, you are sure that your husband is the best, handsome, charming and intelligent man in the world. The period of courtship was insanely romantic and beautiful, he threatened to throw at your feet the whole world, all the stars, and you magnanimously believed him.
The wedding march of Mendelssohn died down, the streams of guests to your house, endless gifts and congratulations ended. You are left alone with your husband and a completely foreign and unfamiliar country for you. No, the husband was still dear and beloved, but for some reason the family life, after the rose-colored glasses were removed, turned out to be slightly different from what you had previously imagined it to be. And such a generous gift for the groom has become a very economical husband. And in general, everything is a bit wrong. What’s the matter? And what is the reason for such dramatic changes?
Let’s talk a little about the Germans as a whole. Someone believes that the Germans are a complete antipode of the Russians. If the Russian soul is broad, and generosity knows no bounds, especially when there is something to give, the Germans are reserved and economical people. Russian word discipline is not so close, they would be, then it would be deleted from the dictionary of Dahl and use in general. The Germans, for the most part, are neat and disciplined. If a German witnesses an offense, whether it is an improperly parked car or a robbery, he will report it in a proper place to the appropriate place. From the Russians, such a responsibility can not be expected, but a man who will report to the traffic police that a neighbor’s car is in a wrong place will have a very bad nickname, or even a pair of bruises under the eye. The life of the Germans strictly obeys the law and the rules, and this is done not out of the stick, but voluntarily and absorbed into consciousness with the milk of the mother. So, what do you expect in marriage with a German?
Life after the wedding.
Let’s be honest, if you married a German for love, and not for the purpose of moving to permanent residence in Germany, then this is a big plus and a guarantee that your relationship is quite possible future. It’s just that the cases when Russian girls marry a German wanting to move to Germany are quite common, for this, they believe, it is not a sin to portray both African passion and wild love. After marriage, the husband ceases to recognize his beloved, which is not what the promised borscht and Bavarian sausages, does not cook anything at all. But he actively visits various clubs and gatherings with fellow countrymen, but he forgot to learn German at all. Is it any wonder that the husband does not consider it necessary to behave like a lover, because such an attitude can kill not only good relations, but also the strongest love. As a consequence, the refusal to issue money, mutual insults and divorce.
If you are driven by love, then it will be difficult, but you can adapt to almost everything. To begin with, consider the German thrift, which often becomes an apple of discord. Yes, he no longer spoils you and does not give money for a second fur coat and a bunch of trinkets, but at the same time he does not spend all that he did not give to you, a loved one. So do not call it stingy and miser. It’s just economy and thrift, designed to ensure a decent life and old age for yourself, and your joint children a worthy existence. At the same time on the saved money you can go on holiday to Hawaii, Cyprus or to some other paradise. Agree, it is worth it to abandon unnecessary gold jewelry, which is enough, and the second coat, when the first was not yet a year. If you are accustomed to living at home in a big way, then you will not be able to learn economics, and if you really need money for all sorts of trinkets, then you can easily get a job yourself.
So, we found out that it’s quite possible to live with German frugality. What else difference in our mentality can complicate family life. The second after thrift, with what the girls face, is the insane correctness of their German husbands. The Germans will not come to mind parking in the wrong place if there is a parking near. This Russian will think, but why pay, if I go away for only 10 minutes, the German will pay discipline, and will not worry, drove his car to a parking stop or this time was lucky. The German and the picnic will not be arranged in the wrong place, only in a place specially reserved for camping. Many Russians are so literally crazy, and they mistakenly equate it with tediousness. Yes, maybe the German husband will be more boring than your previous husband or acquaintance, who was sucking and breaking all conceivable rules. But next to him you can be sure of your safety, which can not be said about the fizzy who put adrenaline in the first place in the blood.
In addition, the Germans are terrible reinsurers and very cautious people who will think and weigh several times before taking any action. You, probably, were convinced of it while it pulled with the offer of an arm and heart. He did it not because he does not love you, but because of the ingrained habit of weighing everything. So do not expect from him rash and spontaneous actions, this is not for the Germans. Therefore, if the correctness, discipline and deliberate decisions are not your crowning qualities, then life with the German will be quite difficult for you. If you have grown up since childhood, then, most likely, you will be delighted with your caring and educated husband.
The most difficult thing that girls have to face is German restraint. From them it is difficult to expect a rapid manifestation of feelings, serenades under the window, cries for love and tears of emotion. Outwardly you will sometimes seem that the husband just does not love you. Otherwise how else to explain this his coldness and restraint. Do not immediately assume all the worst, to begin with, just talk to your husband and realize that you are very wrong. Simply a strong manifestation of feelings is as far away for the Germans as, for example, restraint for Italians or Spaniards who have hot blood. It is not necessary to blame her husband for heartlessness, having learned that he is sending his parents to a home for the elderly. He does it not at all against callousness, but because he is sure that they will be provided with proper care and care, which they will not get at home. Yes, and communication with their like them there is guaranteed, but it’s much better than sitting at home locked up in four walls. And he does not give them there without the right to visit, on the contrary, parents are visited often enough. The same applies to children. Despite the fact that the Germans greatly appreciate the family and marry you, even if you have a child from another, but it costs the child to reach adulthood, and he will be safely sent to an independent life. And this is not because he does not care about his fate. He’s just sure that it’s time to build an independent life. Thus, despite all the differences in mentality and customs of a foreign country, marriage with a German may well be happy. The main thing is to understand that everything he does is not from evil or from the desire to hurt or humiliate you, but simply because he has such upbringing and he is sure that he is doing the right thing. If something badly touches you, then talk to your husband about it. Just do not put ultimatums and conditions, just calmly talk, and maybe he will meet you.